uncertain!

am feeling so!

am wondering then
if i'd be able to make it

life is so delicate
a pack of cards

one lil whiff
or even a tremble

is enough to shake
or shake off

i wonder then
if my heart would make it

the serenity in one moment
the happiness of another

and the metamorphosis

to the fear
scare
of losing
even gaining

i wonder then
will my heart make it
in the swaying windz
of time
nah - each moment

will it hold ground
to my own roots

..

a crease i notice
forming on my forehead

the tension
of the moment
brought into existance
it holds a fear!
that forestalls me
and the world
from me
for me

..

a waiting
a longing
on newer grounds

the same ol trunk
but a new leaf indeed!

am happy
am sad
am alive
n kickin

but i wonder
if my heart will make it
to the other side

and wen it will

will it carry fear?
or lonliness?

can i forbade the storm?
or will sail through
somehow?

..

for long
i have resisted
the forbidden fruit

and now

..

i at this moment
understand
the countless souls
that i left behind

in my journey

to each one
today i say
i understand!

coz am standing
on the same shore
today
feeling the same breeze on my face

and the fire
beneath it
that gave rise to it

uncertainities these are
i understand their nature now

and as my heart weeps
in pain or pleasure

and i look through
the twirled windz
and typhoons
and tremble

i continue to watch them
and tell them i give in

to the desire
and the fear

for i know now

what i left behind
for all those
i give in

..

for myself
i give them my present moment!

n i continue to watch

like a lover
waiting at the shore
to watch out
for an 'ol ship

even if its in tatterz
or in new clrz

whichever
she tells the world

she'll continue to watch
patiently
silently

except
only a few times

she'll draw
a nameless meaning
on the shore

oh shez so like me
jz a few scribbles here n there!