Goodbye to a former lover.

I thought of him as I woke up. What must he look like, asleep in the morning sun. Would I have opened my eyes first? For some reason, in my mind, I always wake up before him.

I gently plant a kiss on his forehead. And slip out of the folds quietly. Standing by the bed, I watch him. Thinking to myself, this is why I journeyed all the way. For this precious sight.

I find my feet and walk away now, deep in thought. I enjoy the silence. In that room, with closed doors and tightly shut windows, I am oblivious to the world. The only obvious, are my movements and his breathing. That's all.

I stand in front of the mirror in the bath. And stare at that person. I look at what I have become. With him. I study myself. I had wondered to myself for many a years. How would I look like when with him? My skin, soft and glowing. I touch love.

My heart races back to him. I peek back into the silent room. Listen to his peaceful breathing. I smile.

Days may come and go. And when he wakes up, he may learn to walk and away, I know. But for now, I take a deep, deep breath. This is why I journeyed so far. And I know I shall live a lil' in him. And as long he remembers my smile, that touched me that morning with love, I know I shall live in him.

Love,
A former lover/
A mother

God.

There is something sinister about the present.
More sinister than the past.

I get this nagging feeling that I'm forgetting something.
Something very important.
Sometimes, my dreams tell me what it is.
But before I grab it, I slip into the slumber of wakefulness.

Yes, it is a slumber these days.
And I feel very stifled.

I run into my past,
into its fragments,
desperate to understand,
the message it is trying to deliver.

But each fragment fails me.
Each one.

I have nowhere to go. And I'm lost in myself.
God, if there be you in me, find me.

The Quiet

It's the day before the dawn
It's the night before the sunset
And the quiet breaks my heart

I was but an impossible creature
lost in the woods that was home
braving sins and souls
and yet, the quiet breaks my heart

Life didn't understand 
the wind carried no story 
the rain only slurped
and yet, it is the quiet that breaks my heart

It reminds me I'm living,
the quiet,
and it breaks my heart.