Tuesday, January 26, 2016

For time to end.

If there is a battle I'm to win, it is here.

If there is a freedom I'm yet to attain, it is here.

If there is a path I have to take, it is here.

And while I may not understand the perplexities of this universe,

All I can give it is the constant rumination of thoughts

A promise to learn. And a promise to try.

Time flies, I feel, in front of my eyes.

I fear, if I'm missing something now.

For if I do, I'll have to wait again, for the universe to create another parallel, bound by its own promise.

I fear, losing the lesson. In time.

Sleep envelopes me. A sleep full of thoughts. Feelings. Unrest.

It is too full, I complain. I need emptiness. Rest.

Wisdom eludes me.

I'm not sure what I'm asking for.

But alive I am.

Still I am.

Waiting for time to end.

Thursday, December 31, 2015


Lots of thoughts. Lazy to write.

Very unlike me really :)

Friday, November 13, 2015


I never thought I'd say this..

But I increasingly feel that I have become another's story.

I knew myself to be capable of more reflection. I was a shadow person. Meant to understand them. More of them.

But somehow along the way..I seem to have gotten lost in making sunshine.

I envy those in the shadows now.

Strange is this human heart.

Being in shadows..living in shadows is a difficult task. The price too much. All my life I have yearned for that sunshine. And I finally seem to be getting some, making some. But instead of happiness, it is fear that is gripping me.

At the loss of that past. That feeling. That that I gained in the shadows.

God, will I ever know balance? Best of both?
Will I, God?

Yours faithfully.

Monday, July 27, 2015

Note to myself.

I hope it is not an injustice. The stories that I keep to myself.

For I have a lot to tell. For there is a lot I feel.

But I mostly smile and submit to the moment. I don't tell.

Like the memories that arise out of nowhere, thinking of a long lost friend. Thinking, if the friend is really lost or..

Like the conversations I have in my head, to call or not to..

Like the chats I go back to read sometimes, the conversations that made me from time to time.

Like the lingering hope I keep building in my head, of lost worlds and lost people.

I used to yearn to tell. But I'm changing now. I hope it is not something I will regret.

There's a lot to tell. Inside me.

Wednesday, June 24, 2015


I don't write much these days because I find life mundane.

Either there is too much struggle which doesn't afford you a break to reflect. Or there's just nothing else.

So I don't write.

But today I realized that there is still something that wakes me out of this stupor.

There are a few people.

I pass by them regularly. Mostly on social media these days. Or find a picture of them somewhere. Or see a book they like. These people I speak of, I realize, haven't given up on the zest they are made of. They are not necessarily happy. In fact, I presume them to be some of the most dissatisfied souls who wanted more from life. From this world. But I see them burning. I see them alive. It shakes me up a little every time, when I find that the flame hasn't died down. I wonder what they're made of.

It seems like the entire concentration of their beings is focused one tiny dot. One crazy thought. One sane idea. For which they look like, when time comes, they will lay down their lives. For an idea. Even if it becomes nothing else but that idea.

I see that madness and it makes me think. Pause. Remember.

I was always born on the sidelines, I think of myself. I haven't been able to achieve much. I'm not like them...these men I'm talking about. But they inspire me. For a second, they clutch my heart. With a line, a picture, with presence or sometimes, their absence. I feel this very deeply.

I have nothing to offer in return I guess. But I must acknowledge that this is one of the deepest reveries in me. 
I acknowledge them. 
And if one of them reads this, I acknowledge you.

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