Bereft!

Bereft now.. I want to die!

Am tired of spinning the wordz
And talking in puzzles

To hint at my feelingz deep inside
And look like I am moving over it
the wheelz of time
Slowly and steadily!

But the fact iz
Am dying inside it
And dats all I wish for now

Am craving to end it
The rot
In my mind

Oh no.. itz ntn different!
Its not sudden
To tell you the truth
It all started when I was born
And some insist
Even before that!

I am wasting away!
It’s progressive!
The disease is progressive!

Am black inside
And outside!

Not dark
That still has some majesty
A meaning

And while I believed and made you believe
That it was all a part of a certain mystery

Its not!
Am black
Am rotting
And I choose therefore
To die instead!

That’s it
I simply want to die!
End!
Without a consciousness!
I want to dissolve!

If there is a god…
Today I pray…
Turn me into a black hole
Take me away from existence
The existence that you have given me!

I don’t want it!
I simply don’t!

Oh god!
Finally…am read to give up!