a letter to ma lil' one @...

dear dear blog...


sorry its been a while that i put up anething..but then u know how life is..and u know how it gets for me rite.. me dealing with the hajaar thingz that are happenning..


but i gotcha tell u abt the awesome-est and the recent-EST (:P well like ten mins ago literally) piece of newz.....that being my lil gal shreelu getting hands on SK's mail id..and guess wat.. she sent him the mail.. hit the send button ...!!!! :))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


and now i wanna send this letter to her...


dear lil' one..


it waz my dream wasnt it?  and my lil one is living it..atleast dreaming it...and almost waking up to it..
yyyoooohhhoooooo!!!


i cant tell u wat my feelings are at this point in time.. i mean apart from being mad with happiness... suddenly...time has come to a stand still... i have come to a stand still...sth has pulled me to the present reality and has grounded me entirely.. i am calm..my breath is calm...only my fingers are typing away..


i dont know wat this feeling is..i mean u know me.. being calm bothers me ..


we were all literally shrieking a few minutes ago...yeh n hugging each other.. and...and now.. after our sumwat crazy folks have also hugged us and are out...after u kids.. have left me alone in the room with the lappie.. after our shrieks r over..after...


m soo shaant .. i cant tell u..am actually SO DAMN HAPPY yaar!!!!!!!!!!!! :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


i mean this is the awesome-esttttt thing that could have happened in life rite...my dream man...and like hell i hope he responds to that mail...and like with the dream reply... :D


the point is.. i alwez dreamt of workign with his man..jz alwez dreamt of it...and today .. frankly speaking.. sth struck a chord...of past dreams.. of past resolutions.. passionz..of an early time.. movie making..and while i alwez thought that one day i may jump that high n catch that impossible star..  here my lil' gal actually has done it...


today... sth brushed past me...the whiff of that film set...u know.. the one i alwez dreamt of... that that i jz alwez wanted... imagined..lived in ma head...today...sth of that just brushed past me again...its a mixed feeling u know...coz  i have started to dream diff stuff now...and this bumping into past.. umm...its a very different feeling...


ok..m sumwat j .. lil sis... hell! i should b v j! i mean...cmmonn u know me..m no saint.. we alwez planned on the other way around.. din we.. ???


but u know wat... to hell with bein J! i dun think.. i cud have beeen soo happeee ever... AND I MEAN IT!!!  ... not even if i were dreaming the same dream and maybe getting to shake hands with the man himself... not even if... ane damn thing apart from watz reallee happenin.... :PPPPPPPPPPPP


i alwez thought onez own dreamz were onez own future... n ntn else beat that in life ..but today...
i alwez thought ur dreamz were ur only strength in onez life..achieving them the only goal.. winnin them.. the only..pinnacle...


but today...


as i stand wer i do...and as i watch myself from here...and watch myself n u...my lil one....i get to know for the first time...wat it is feels like..


i mean i know now... wat mumz dadz actually-actually feel like alrite! just why do they put soo much on their kids...just what it feels like to watch wen ur kid grows up n livez ur dreamz...! n fulfill them...i know now...and trust me wen i say...ntn beats that feeling..abs nothing! its like lifez telling me... ders sth more to life...and now i know...


n this young mom is sooooo happee today ..and she cud jz dance and hop her life away...
((ermm..unconventional??? but..erm..u know me...;))


and while u sit in front of me.. singing n playing ma guitar... and while life may take us different directions and make us feel strange thingz... like oofff that film set...and well...the changed anglez...


i jz wanna tell ya ... that if n when 'the dream' comes true...


i promise to live that dream nvrdless...the other way around.. and m gonna watch u at the sets... door se.. and absorb it all... n will proudly say.. heya...thats ma lil' one.. and smile n wave at you.. jz like i alwez do..
...
ntnz changed... ntn will..


love,
pinki di..
muaaahhh...
:D