26.11.08

To each one.. on 26.11.08 .. who lost a family, a lil child, a friend, a colleague, a boss, a junior, a mother, a father, a lover.. even those frightened faces that u must have seen, met for the first time ever in those terrible hours .. some walked out, some were rescued.. and to those who never got past the bullets...

i know.. each one of u is still around! living or not! u r right here!

yes .. the tv's been blaring for the past one week, the radio hasnt stopped reaching out... Yes, with the morning cup of tea.. each one of us has gulped down many tales of horror retold, splashed in the newspaperz...

qns have been raised .. have we done enf?

sth has changed forever i know.. sth u cant redo .. but watever cud be done..

have we done enf???

have we??

in any way posbl??

the govt?
the forces?
the fire dept?
the news gatherers?
the mumbaikars?
the dilli wala?
the citizens of this country?

wat has changed in the last one yr?? aerent we still as vulnerable??

apart from lost lives, muted eyes, silenced voices...wat else have we gathered?? wat ARE the stories taht we are telling??

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Most of us don't have an answer! Most don't to answer! Most hang our heads down!

ut let me tell u my friend.. the onez we made on 26.11.08 ... living or not.. u r right here! in our heartz..

We have been hearing YOUR stories...

but let me tell u ourz...!!

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Who are we? We are a part of u.. who suffered the carnage! in a different way though!

U know that day... when it all happened to u...
the same day.. we lost some of our life too!!

Sitting in a different city.. and diff state... far flung from where you were..
we shared the carnage!

Yes we did.. i want to tell u!

We cried too.. just like u did... in desperation!
for the first time we hated... the fact that we were so far flung from wer u r!

NO .. it wasnt any luckier! yes we were safe.. in our homes or offices...

yes ... away from the fire that burnt you... but u know what... our heartz burned in agony!

It wasnt easy! we howled too.. not out of a physical torture.. but an anguish .. inexplicable it iz!

If you were silenced out of existance... we were silenced too.. into a living death!

we carried with us a memory.. that wudnt allow many of us to sleep at nights!
we couldnt even come out...n hold u and hug u n cry..
we did it inside ourselves! we cried out LOUD.. but inside... we couldnt do anythign but watch! we couldnt switch off!

we were scared too ... of those men.. wherever they came from! i dont care! i only care that they hurt you! and i will nvr forgive them for that!

each one of us.. who saw the terror happening to u.. we died too!

Desperate...we dint know whom to turn to.. In moments when we were able to breathe outside that terror.. we prayed .. desperately so.. to life, to the godz, to the govt, to the firemen, to the mediamen, and to you - to not give up!

We prayed to every posbl power! we kept praying in our hearts!

And yet we were doomed..coz we were helpless!

60 hours of carnage...and none if us sitting here could do anything but witness that!

U know my frnd.. the one who didnt live to see the aftermath with your eyes... we lived each day after you... staring back us was the gloom on the fellowmanz face..

for days and weeks.. we cudnt meet each otherz eye!

yes i know.. we were still sitting safe! i dont deny that! but u know my frnd.. i can only tell you .. we nvr forgot u! no not for a single moment for months to come!

yes the memories hazed lil by lil as time went by..

yes we started smiling again... bec we were scared that we will be driven to madness if we dont push you away from our mindz!
but nvr out of our heartz!

no it wasnt easy either! our bodies ached, our heartz kept bleeding.. and we had to move on... and still blv in life!

it was the most difficult thing to do!

days months weeks and now a yr has come around!

and yet in our hearts.. i will tell you.. each one of uz.. carries a fever.. which threatens to burn us down!

even now.. whenever we think of u.. we dont realise it..but we.. stop breathing!

its wordless.. its got no sound.. but it IZ within each one of uz who was out of reach from u that day...
who so desperately wished we were there to sneak into the hotel sumhow and pull u out..
sumhow clear the debri with our bare handz.. in a hope that u mite still be breathing...
each one.. who wanted to run and fling a a bottle of water for that fireman to catch...
each one of us..who saw ur family and frenz crying.. n wished that -- if only I cud give up my life instead ..instead of u whoz sooo loved! and who soo in all rightful stance.... shud have been here my frnd!
each one.. who thought ..

god knowz how many thoughtz n feelingz.. and yet...each one of us stayed MUTE!

Its not been easy for uz too.. my frnd.. sth that day.. the stark terror.. that look in ur eyes...

We cannot forget!
We can't forget!

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i dunno how sucessful we have been!
in any matter!
post 26/11!

yes i read that date aloud!

with shame,
with pain,
with courage,
with all that i have!

26/11.. no we r not to forget u!
we carry in our hearts.. that pain, the terror, the bravery and the numb helplessness! all of it!

Those of us.. who have lived.. dont know fortunately or unfortunately, for thats how we have felt at core ..

and those of us who live to see today -- 26.11.09 -- and will so tomorrow...

Today, I wanna say NO ... its not just andr candle march!

its nt just andr heart wrenching show on tv!

its nt just sum impressive writing!

its not juz sum intent listening!

Its us.. living humanz... survivors of 26/11!

my frnd...who lost a family, a lil child, a friend, a colleague, a boss, a junior, a mother, a father, a lover.. even those frightened faces that u must have seen, met for the first time ever in those terrible hours .. some walked out, some were rescued.. and to those who never got past the bullets...

We survive ur pain! And with love we carry it! NO my frnd.. we will nvr forget u.. not in a lifetime! And Yes my frnd, we will nurture that love...and carry ur courage forward... in our hearts n livez!

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