blank-ed!

She sits in front of her computer screen. Not knowing what to do. Not knowing what she wants.

Is she really a demanding person as others tell her she is? Well that she is.. she reverts to her own brain query.. but is she being too demanding? Really? She wonders.

Demanding from life..

Expecting ‘too much’.

Well! she doesn’t know how to figure that one! An hour glass.. whichever side upside down .. looks just the same.. she thinks! But somewhere time is slipping by. And she .. is watching it!

She scratches her head now.. repetitive thoughts have been irritating her! How much can one stare into a screen! What does she want to see then? The world .. she tells herself.. she wants to travel.. no actually roam.. she wants to live it differently.. a times as a pauper and well most times.. richly…

That’s allright .. she tells herself.. she’s having enough paupery times at the moment.. too many thoughts but those that leave her with nothing.. abs nothing in particular! Didn't someone say its a cycle? Good times followed by bad.. paupery times followed by rich ones? She scratches her head again..

But till then..

Its her favourite activity – to do nothing! Its her favourite time of the day – no time..
For her, there is no dawn, no dusk.. no nightfall.. no daytime.. she just keeps waiting for any of these to happen..

Do people like to run away? She’s waiting for time to happen..

She fears too.. the future! Will it make her happy or sad? That’s a big worry on the little mind that she calls her own..

And she hates it when it stops working..
And her mind.. although technically.. minds don’t feel.. but her’s hates her back..

at times that is..

Why?

Because she cant make out her life. She cant judge good from bad.. the 'want' button from the 'unwant' one.. she can't reach a conclusion!

She’s greedy .. has created too many options for herself.. and now unable to put a finger to it .. and pick up that piece of cake!
She’s been greedy indeed.

And.. so.. now.. she stares .. blankly at her screen..

And the screen stares back at her!