Am.. a nothing!

Am feeling crowded in the inside
And lonely on the outside

Am feeling devastated
But on this planet.. I seem to have everything physical that shud be there

Am feeling scared
Yet am putting up the am ok front..

Am wondering.. jz wat is this state mind?

By nights.. I dream.. weird thingz
By morningz.. I wake to equally weird realities

It makes perfect sense to the whole world around me..
And I if I go there .. stand with them – the crowd.. it makes sense to me as well..
This is how thingz happen maybe.. how it goez.. life iz..

only
I dunno y is it happening to me!

I dunno wats more real to me..
My dream
Or my reality

I sumtimes choke at the very thought of living a life like this forever..
I choke at what the future might bring on .. if I go with the flow now..
I detest

Yet I don’t know
Cant feel
Wats right

How am I to choose then?
Am powerless
Am helpless

These are my dreamz…
Dat I claim are more real like…

Am torn
I feel wounded

And yet .. my frnz.. my world.. u wudnt know how…

Wat am I to do??

Anyone?
Anyhow?
Know a thing or two I can use?

I have alwez blvd in personal solutionz
Not a naught of it tonight…

Am hapless
But am still livin

Sumwer
In the lost recesses of my mind

And yet I am the one…helping me lose it…
I do not know wats the natural course…

Am suddenly all alone…
Am suddenly breaking down!

Am suddenly myself…
Am suddenly a nothing!