Monday, August 31, 2009

Caught!

Within my thoughts!

Sometimes, it looks easy!

The thing about getting away!
The thing about.. just getting over it!
The thing about living in the present!

Yeah .. it does look possible!

And then when I remind myself that the world’s pretty big!
Out there…
There are many people!

And there are chances that I might find happiness…
Even if its a fashion not perceived earlier by my mind!

I feel ..
Yeh man! Cmmon…isn’t that what I have always rattled out to others!
Hasn’t that been my experience?
Haven’t I seen it for real?
Haven’t I mastered it?
Haven’t I proved it to myself?

Of course I have!
It’s a matter of time…

And at present…what other option do I have anyway?…except to try out new waters?

Its not an - all unhappy picture!
Unless am hell bent on making it one!

I just have to go ahead with a positive frame of mind…
I just have to…go through it… to get over it…

Of course it’s possible… I tell myself…and the best part about it… when you try anew…you get to shoot for the moon!

And so…there’s all this…

..
.







And then there are moments…

That come unannounced…but do not go unpronounced…

And life talks to me..
In a language that
I understand…

Moments that say… you love someone!

And that’s that!
For me!

..
.





Aneone?
Any thought?
Ane argument that I can use?

I promise to try it out!
I swear I have already…
But I will use one more spear
Against it
To maybe kill it




..
.



But as true as my life…
As true as my breath
My heart sways…
In those beautiful windz
Of pain n pleasure

Every single night…and each morning!

Life looks into my eye…
And whispers
Softly…
Silently…
Ever so…

And I understand .. again…
I love someone!
..

And am transfixed .. again…

Friday, August 28, 2009

Moist

I cant help it
Moist eyes

They don’t listen to me
And I have left talking to them

It dsnt matter
Whether I do or not
It dsnt matter
Wedr I act or not
It dsnt matter
Wedr I be or not

Xpt.. that I feel

It dsnt matter
Dead or alive!!

My eyes dun listen to me anemore

Anytime
Any moment
They turn moist

In a memory
So dear

In yearning

Maybe that’s happiness
I cant even demarcate

Yet it dsnt matter
I don’t matter

All dat matters
on the inside
r my feelings

and on the outside
the moist eyes!

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Am.. a nothing!

Am feeling crowded in the inside
And lonely on the outside

Am feeling devastated
But on this planet.. I seem to have everything physical that shud be there

Am feeling scared
Yet am putting up the am ok front..

Am wondering.. jz wat is this state mind?

By nights.. I dream.. weird thingz
By morningz.. I wake to equally weird realities

It makes perfect sense to the whole world around me..
And I if I go there .. stand with them – the crowd.. it makes sense to me as well..
This is how thingz happen maybe.. how it goez.. life iz..

only
I dunno y is it happening to me!

I dunno wats more real to me..
My dream
Or my reality

I sumtimes choke at the very thought of living a life like this forever..
I choke at what the future might bring on .. if I go with the flow now..
I detest

Yet I don’t know
Cant feel
Wats right

How am I to choose then?
Am powerless
Am helpless

These are my dreamz…
Dat I claim are more real like…

Am torn
I feel wounded

And yet .. my frnz.. my world.. u wudnt know how…

Wat am I to do??

Anyone?
Anyhow?
Know a thing or two I can use?

I have alwez blvd in personal solutionz
Not a naught of it tonight…

Am hapless
But am still livin

Sumwer
In the lost recesses of my mind

And yet I am the one…helping me lose it…
I do not know wats the natural course…

Am suddenly all alone…
Am suddenly breaking down!

Am suddenly myself…
Am suddenly a nothing!